Monday, 14 December 2009

Are we nearly there yet?

Are we nearly there yet?

I’m not sure if I’m the biggest fan of long journeys! I’m saying that because I feel like I’ve been on a long journey this past year. It’s been one of realising what I’ve been holding onto and realising that it wasn’t always God. And I keep thinking, ‘are we nearly there yet?’… any more surrendering to do? Or more rough edges to file off? Can we be done with it now??!! Can’t we just get there. Can’t I just say, ‘I’m yours’ to God and I wait and see all that He has for me and all that He wants me to be. But it doesn’t appear to be as simple as that.

I’ve said it with different tones throughout the year. Earlier in the year came quite a desperate, ‘are we nearly there yet???? Pleeeeeeeeeease?’ Because I didn’t know how much more pain I could take. Saying goodbye to friends, seeing people in physical pain, feeling lonely, desperately wanting to belong and know God’s plan for my life… it was a dry and dark place for a while. It made me realise that my happiness so far had been based on safety. What I really meant when I said I was happy was, ‘I feel safe, I feel accepted and I belong’. But what when all that gets stripped away? Can you still be happy when you don’t feel safe?? Surely???

My time with Mercy Ships was such a privilege. Meeting so many incredible friends and discovering bits of God I didn’t know and showing love to people who were so hungry for it. What a privilege. And having purpose in my daily life, friends… I guess all that added up to me feeling happy and safe. But somehow when my friends were constantly leaving, my safety started to crumble. I found myself a bit ashamed as I realised my happiness was based on all those things. Is that right?? Shouldn’t I be ‘content in all circumstances’? But that’s a bit of a high calling, isn’t it God?? And it’s then that I kept asking so desperately, ‘are we nearly there yet?’ – and crying from the bottom of my heart, ‘when can it all be safe again?’. That’s what I really meant, ‘when can it all be safe again?’.

So there’s been ups and downs this last year. Places so dark I really never want to see them again. And I’m not saying I’ve got it sussed or anything but I feel like I’m arriving at a place where I’m more focused on my destiny than my journey. Any journey doesn’t seem so bad if you know you’re on your way to somewhere beautiful, right? Even if there’s crazy traffic or a detour or thunder and lightening that slows you down… I’ll always be happy if I’m on my way to see a precious friend. And that’s the way I want it to be with life. So happy and excited about the place I am going that the journey doesn’t seem such a bother. And I’m not saying there aren’t beautiful places on the journey too!!! – and I don’t want to miss out on the journey either – because of course it’s the whole journey that shapes who we are. I just mean the ups and downs won’t be my focus, because I’m fixed on where I’m going.

When I’m pondering what makes me truly happy, God give me the grace, strength and bold faith to keep my eyes fixed on my destiny and not the things that fall away. My safety is in you, my unchangeable God.

It’s a challenge right now as I set up a new home/life. I don’t want to get too caught up on the intricacies of the journey… like whether the plates match or if I’m wearing the latest piece of fashion. I’m not saying I don’t care about those things… I just don’t want to take my eyes off my destiny again. I guess there’ll be times when I succeed with that and times when I don’t. But I really hope I’ll come back quicker to focusing on my destiny and not everything else and poor old me.

Are we nearly there yet??? Not sure… but I’m excited to do my journey with you. What makes you feel happy? The kind of journey you’re on or because you know the destiny you’re heading for?

Praying you know God’s incredible love for you and extravagantly beautiful plans for your life.


2 corinthians 5 Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
 6-8That's why we live with such good cheer. You won't see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don't get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we'll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.
 9-10But neither exile nor homecoming is the main thing. Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that's what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions. Sooner or later we'll all have to face God, regardless of our conditions. We will appear before Christ and take what's coming to us as a result of our actions, either good or bad.
 11-14That keeps us vigilant, you can be sure. It's no light thing to know that we'll all one day stand in that place of Judgment.