No
snow. I’d dreamt of it for months. I’d talked about it. I’ve had my office
decorated with it since last winter. I’d pictured floating flakes dancing
outside the window. I could feel the warmth of the fire and smell the smoke of
the burning wood. I could taste the wintry flavours on my tongue, I could hear
the silence as it fell and I could imagine the creaking crunch as I stepped my
foot onto it. I knew where the sledge would take me and I knew how my lungs
would cry for help as I re-climbed its slithery course. I could sense how cold
my nose would get and could feel the soggy socks that would need a post sledge
dry. I knew how full my heart would get.
And
it’s not because I like all things white or the cold or delicate things or even
the magical mystery snow brings. Well, it’s not just that anyway. It’s because…
well, it speaks of something so much bigger. The intricate beauty, the unique
form, the careless float, the transforming power, the ability it has to make me
a child again, the effortless beauty. It speaks of something so much more. I
could say the same of lots of other things. The birdsong in mum and dad’s
wintry garden, the crashing waves on my favourite beach, the wild sea spray,
the reflections on the sand, the juicy tang of a cox’s apple, the places in my
heart that a film about real life in its raw beauty unveils, the rainbows that
speak of promise and hope, the clear blue skies after days of relentless rain, the
giggles to be had with my little friends, the courage and humility that my
nephew displays as he faces huge surgery… yep, these things speak of something
so much more too. And it’s not because I’m soft and fluffy. It’s really not.
It’s because these things waken a deep part of my heart. And they leave me
thirsty for more. They all remind me of my Maker and I wonder; how did it all
get so beautiful?
Thirsty
hearts are those whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within
them. A.W Tozer
It’s
been a beautiful year of growth in a million ways. Thousands of people’s lives
transformed through surgery and the power of love. And love’s transforming power in my life too. I’ve
stretched and grown, I feel like I’ve become more of me and encouraged others
to be more of them. It’s been about learning to love and being loved. It’s been
about hearing God’s voice, learning what that sounds like and learning to quiet
my own heart in it. It’s been learning that there is so much more. I didn’t say
it had been easy - I just said it was beautiful.
But
the snow. It never came you know. It’s ok, it’s sometimes how it goes. Thank
you, England for 3 weeks of rich gifts. Thank you 2013 for 52 weeks of deepest
joy.
My
dreams for 2014? I want to be fully me.
I want to love deeply and I want to open my eyes to all the ways I can receive
love too. I want to be at rest in my heart. I don’t want to be running to the
next thing or longing for the beauty that has passed. I want to be embracing
the now and see the metaphoric snow falling in it. I want the touch of God to
awaken my Spirit to all the ways He calls me to pour out deep love and I can
think of nowhere better than to do it on my big white boat. We’ll continue on
in the Republic of Congo until June and after that it’s yet to be finalized.
Oh
and I’d like to build a snowman too.
But
most of all, I dream of making my Maker smile.
Love
always, KWW
