More than enough -- I remember hearing these words when I
was contemplating coming back to the ship around 6 years ago. I was wondering
how I would gather enough finance to fund life as a volunteer and how I would
get someone to rent my newly bought flat. I mean, I’d done it all before and felt like my
circle had already given more than enough to love and support me… but I felt
God say, ‘…there will always be more than enough’. Sometimes it’s been 22p too
much, but nevertheless, I can testify that it’s been my story – there has
always been MORE than enough. Not just enough, but actually MORE than enough. Even
22 teeny pence can be more than what you need.
But lately I’ve been realizing my understanding of those
reassuring words needed to grow. Would there always be enough grace for living
in community? More than enough peace when I felt anxious? More than enough
sleep when I felt overwhelmed? More than enough friends when I felt alone? More
than enough love to fill my gaping holes of grief? Would there?
There is. And even more than that, I’ve found you only know
those depths when you start scraping the barrel.
This is the truth – Blessed – lucky – are those who cry.
Blessed are those who are sad, who mourn, who feel the loss of what they love –
because they will be held by the One who loves them. There is a strange and
aching happiness only the hurting know – for they shall be held. (Matt 5 – and Ann
Voskamp)
It's all so upside down. I’ve often wondered how I’d feel if my heart went through
some massive tragedy. I think it’s the result of caring for many people who
have faced just that. I wonder – would I show such courage? Such blind trust?
Would I have enough strength to keep on going?
And then I started thinking of all the things in my heart and
realised that perhaps there’s quite a bit of’tragedy’ in there already. It’s
all relative isn’t it. But heart stuff is never small. My forever friend who
recently left the ship --- the life sharing, the professional support, the feeling understood, the safety
of just knowing she was there…. and then there’s living life alone. Well it’s
not like I’m ever truly alone. But there are things I don’t have that grieve my
heart….
And Regina… she’s my friend from Ghana who I met 11 years
ago. Long story short, she came to London for surgery because we couldn’t help
her on the big white ship. She bravely showed the world that beauty wasn’t on
the outside. She strutted around London like she owned the place – complete
with her facial tumour. What a trooper. And what a journey she’s been on. Her
very own father – the one who loved her so much and someone I am sure was
responsible for cultivating such a non-apologetic attitude deep inside her – was
tragically killed in the midst of all this. But tumour or not, she knows who she is. And so the story continues – this time she came back to the ship
for review, just this week. Sadly there are ongoing problems that are too big
for us. Too risky to tackle. And so as I parceled her and her aunty on their way back to
Ghana, her only words were, ‘please don’t cry for me’… and, ‘give me a mercy
ship water bottle’…. as my heart fought the injustice, the thought that -- if
this was me, I’d be tucked up in a hospital bed receiving my world class
treatment for free - - but for her, she’s on her way back on a 24 hour bus ride
home… as I fought the injustice, I remembered 2 things…
One. Love hurts and we just gotta keep
on loving…
Two. The ironic freedom Regina has
in living for today… so many of our stealers revolve around fear of the future…
In the face of ‘inoperable’, what if I just worried about a water bottle. It’s
tragic and beautifully freeing all at the same time.
… If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that
you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in
your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you
put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on
your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job
description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than
birds.
Give your entire attention to
what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not
happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when
the time comes. Matt. 6
And so there it is my friends. Stop worrying. Love deeply.
There will always be more than enough. 'Cos when you feel a radical gratitude
for what you have, you end up wanting to go to the ends of the earth to share
it. Radical giving is the way to radical abundance.
I continue to receive abundance and I aint gonna stop giving. It’s what
makes me feel alive.
‘Beat, beloved heart beat, beat on in the world. You will be
broken and you will be loved. You don’t ever have to be afraid….’. (Ann
Voskamp)
… there will always be more than enough. Don’t forget that.
Love always. KWW
If you haven't seen it already, please take a look at this thank you video https://vimeo.com/196459222
Mothers celebrating their baby's clubfeet becoming straight at our 'dance ceremony'... kinda says it all...
