Wednesday, 5 September 2018

back to school

I feel like I might be in Heaven but then again, school starts tomorrow morning so maybe not!! I’m in Albertville, France for 7 months to master (in my dreams) the French language and it is breathtakingly beautiful. Just like that another new beginning has started. 

The more I’m away from my beloved bateau, the more I realise taking a break was the right thing to do. I’m still uninstalling the ‘must keep busy’ mode from my mind-set but instead of the constant planning that I had become accustomed to, I’m having the most wonderful opportunities to explore and be OUTSIDE. It’s one of the things I missed the most; fresh air, walks, bike rides, beautiful views, birdsong, silence, breezes, the scent of flowers…. all these things make my spirit come alive and it is such a gift to be here. 

(note the snow capped mountain poking through!)

It feels like an utter privilege to have learning French as my focus for now and it’s giving me time to take care of myself a little better too. There are certain things that I notice I now have time for (like using my electric tooth brush or reading the news) versus feeling too busy on the ship to even consider these things most of the time! How ridiculous that the whirl had got so whirl-ish.  

Coming to France has been a secret dream since I was about 17, I think. It’s one of those laid down dreams that I thought would never happen – I remember leafing through magazines wondering if I could become an au pair or pick grapes in a vineyard and learn to speak French. Even so, it’s scary and it can be lonely. Arriving wasn’t exactly a joy! Honestly, it felt like ANOTHER time I had to be brave and feel alone. To be grown up and just put one foot in front of the other and believe I am where I am supposed to be. On Monday we had a test and as I sat at my desk and the paper was placed in front of me, I truly considered telling the teacher I had tummy ache and needed to go home! What a ninny I am. 

Changing seasons are never easy and I still have bulging tears in my eyes when I see a Mercy Ship video. I will never tire of seeing hope born. I feel immensely thankful for the beautiful summer I had at home. I enjoyed family and friends and the fresh air and sunny days so much and as the days are starting to get shorter and cooler, I am beginning to want to hold on to these beautiful months I had. And then I remember that I will soon get to see the leaves changing colour and even see some snow – things I have missed so much these last years. And so just like you can’t hold back the seasons, you can’t in life either! You have to metaphorically let go of the sunshine on your back and look forward to the new vistas that will come as the trees shed their leaves. Just like I can’t pick up the leaves and stick them back on, I can’t pick up all the beautiful things I am having to let go of and put them back on either. If I did, I would miss out on autumn colours and making snow angels and who would want to do that?  

My pencil case is ready and my heart will surely catch up. I’m here to learn a language, which I hope to be able to use to express rich and unconditional love to future friends and colleagues. 

Seasons come and seasons go but I’m a firm believer that it’s never ever the end of the story; the best is always yet to come. 

Bring it on. Love always. KWW

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